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Dinner with a Chimpanzee at the Cradle of Humankind Restaurant!

(Scroll down for the dishes…)

Our Chef says:

If Art is supposed to be totally useless’ (Marcel Duchamp)

and ‘Art imitates Life imitates Art’ (Oscar Wilde)

then doesn’t that mean that if the art that is feeding life is useless,

then the life that’s being fed becomes a bit more useless too?

But life isn’t useless, even if it seems so sometimes.

It’s the most important thing we’ve all got.

So being an artist who is only allowed to make useless things sometimes seems a bit stupid

Therefore I made my experiences in Africa into a kind of T.V. movie

Because you’re allowed to talk about all sorts of things on T.V.

And artists are allowed to do what the heck they want including trying not to be useless

Of course whether they succeed or not is a different matter entirely

Enjoy your meal x

Starters

These dishes have been cooked up to help you grasp what the hell is going on here. Taken together they will leave you with a better understanding of the point of this whole endeavour.

1

Union Jack Underpants – Meet the artist. An origin story with a dash of politics and religion, seasoned with the four classical elements. Impossible to eat as a solo dish.

2

The Truly Spiritual Backpacker – Meet the backpacker. A smørgersbord of preparations and packing, real and imaginary. Served with a side of international airports.

3

Wild Chimpanzee’s Dream Pot – Served with suggestions for table talk. A taste of the elsusive chimpanzee, a whiff of romanticism, a swirl of 2 million year old, vintage starlight, PLUS saxophone.

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Main Courses

These dishes constitute the main body of the work. All aimed at the future, they take place in the here and now of our Chef’s struggle to reach forwards with poor equipment and a misty mind. Try one to get a taste of his adventures.

4

Venus von Willendorf Bread – Enjoy one of our Chef’s specialities: bearing unassuming objects through arduous physical and mental landscapes. Voluptuous paleolithic forms are offered to the four classical elements, deep in the heart of continental Africa. Each offering comes with its own unique set of flavours and feelings.

5

A Spoonful of Sahara Sand – Served with an accidental side garnish of lost memory, this dish often underwhelms with its understated optimism. When a circle becomes a spiral, here’s wishing that this dream could be made real, not out of oranges. You should drink alcohol with this one.

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6

Flying Tyroller Hat – A literal word game plays itself out against a windy geographical feature that claims you as its descendant once and again. Accompanied by a brief splash of chat show fun, Scarlett Johansson and some confusion about advertising. Not good for the impatient eater.

7

The Magic Feather – Ancient African religion, wrapped with leaves of money and long explanations. A druid is born amidst bursts of colour and guitar playing. An ordinary flamingo feather becomes an extraordinary set of possibilities.

8

Miracle Spaghetti – A taste of question. Apples, lettuces, snakes – all cooked up together with a heavy garnish of metaphor and served as a reminder that the hand stirring is very much like your own.

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9

The Maasai Warrior and Me – A flawed personal victory against capitalism. Chew on a young warriors confusion and the taste of artistic madness. A three sided photograph drizzled with rushed planning and power hungry attempts to express a certain post colonial flavour.

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10

12 dag Bröserl (Muzungu in 100’s of years of Shite) – Having brought Austrian racism with him on his travels, our intrepid Chef used it totally inappropriately out in the field. Watch him suffer and hear all his sides of the story.

​CANCELLED

11

Mystic Sand Glass Plastic Pyramid Lens Construction Thingy – Nobody knows what this one is, not even our Chef. But if you ever wanted to taste something cooked by four people at once, who are actually all the same person, then this could be the dish for you. Expect explosions.

​Desserts

​Things for afterwards. How does a conclusion taste? Our Chef reflects upon the future and on what he has learned through trying to meet the chimpanzee.

12

Redirected Hallstadt Salt – A simple song from the Chef to his native land. Through careful seasoning he implores: “You started this mess, now turn your kitchen around and face in the right direction for once – into the future!”

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13

Blue Lycra Breakout – Wrap your tonsils around the taste of the future in this wistful blend of aerobics workout and grasping vision of a monochrome, socialist utopia. Recommended for the lost and confused of the 21st Century.

14

African Figurine Surprise – Wanna see how our Chef defeated capitalism? Look no further.

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15

Ancient Fire – Finishing as every good menu should, on an optimistic note. This dish should warm the labyrinth of your heart and still you with the drive to carry your stomach positively before you as you too strive to make the world a slightly better place.

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